she was so not down for the gang bang
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
