He called his prostate his "boner button".
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize