What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
