i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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