she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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