It's Friday. Sex?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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