I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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