it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
