Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
