at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i now understand why vodka
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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