OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
