Midget sex pt 2 tonight
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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