He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
