So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
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