so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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