ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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