We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
