She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
third nipple confirmed
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
