I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
