I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
