Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
