So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize