I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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