She said her name was "party"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
