I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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