I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize