Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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