haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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