If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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