I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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