She went from zero to smokin in five shots
no, he came in my armpit
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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