You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
