yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
