who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
