Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
