Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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