just come out here and I will go home with you...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Operation Purity has been aborted
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
