I am in a vortex of obligation.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
