Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
