At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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