is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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