theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
