1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize