All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
