We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
