where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
