dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You were trust falling into bushes
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
