your thong is hanging out like whoa
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize