the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm like, not good at living.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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