Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize