is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
