i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
