operation harelip BJ is a go
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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