I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
