Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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