it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
