69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I want to be your penis for a week.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
