the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
