You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
