Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
